The Doctors Lane

The Physics of Grief

The science of physics has demonstrated when two particles interact with one another in a vacuum and are later separated into two different containers, stimulating one particle produces an activation response in the other particle. In much the same way, when two individuals interact and form a relationship, an exchange of energy occurs between the two individuals. This attachment continues even when the two individuals are separated from one another by distance, because the energy continues to be exchanged. Each individual’s brain identifies that specific energy as connection with the other individual. This attachment bond can be so strong that even when separated for years, individuals can come back together and resume their connection as if no time has passed. The deeper and more intimate and connected the relationship, the stronger the attachment bond.

However, when death prohibits the normal energy from being exchanged, the survivor’s brain continues to send out a signal expecting to find the lost connection. Instead of connection, the individual finds nothing but emptiness. They send their energy out again and again, but it feels like their energy is being sucked into a black hole. The severed attachment feels like a part of themselves has been amputated. Just like the experience of an amputated limb, the “phantom” feelings of the connection continue long after the energy exchange has been cut. As their energy is drained into nothingness, the grieving individual begins to collapse in on themselves, as if their very being is falling into that black hole of emptiness. The pain of loss experienced as grief is related to this severing of attachment. When memories of their loved one rise to the surface or are stimulated by circumstances or environment, the individual reexperiences this process, more energy is drained away, and the internal collapse repeats with each reexperiencing.

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