Traumatic Memories

Our memories are typically integrated into the overarching story of our lives, providing a frame of reference for the new experience within the context of our whole story. However, an individual going through trauma loses this frame of reference. When the body system becomes inundated with the overwhelming sensory data coming in, the integrated functioning […]

The Effects of Trauma

Trauma can have a profound, even devastating impact on an individual. Often, the responses traumatized individuals exhibit are pathologized. They are viewed as needing “treatment” and are identified as “sick” or “disturbed.” The truth is, the responses to trauma are normal responses given the extreme nature of their situation. Pathologizing the person or seeing the […]

Helping the Grieving

Our perspectives on grief are both professional and personal because our son died at age 17 from a progressive neurological disorder, so we’ve experienced first-hand what is helpful and what is not. Here are some responses we would suggest to provide support for someone who is grieving: Be present. The most helpful people to us […]

Addiction

Addiction is a compulsion to use a harmful substance(s) or participate in self-injurious behaviors despite the knowledge that the substance or behavior can cause harm to themselves or others. We treat addiction through the lens of the deeper process issues underlying the addictive behaviors, such as trauma, depression, and anxiety. The research is clear that […]

The Goals of Misbehavior

All behavior has a purpose.  What this means is that everything a child does, he or she does with a goal in mind, whether that goal is conscious or unconscious.  Our responses to their behaviors either reinforce the goals they had in those behaviors, or our responses discourage those goals and help the child to […]

Identity

Parents, you probably know your children better than anyone other than God. Who, then, is better equipped to call out each child’s unique identity? What aspects of God’s nature do you see in your children? For example, are they sensitive and caring of others? Rather than seeing them as too easily hurt, call out those […]

Veteran Culture

Veterans are an extremely interesting bunch. Today, they make up about one percent of our population.  When I was a kid (‘50’s-‘60’s- I was born dead center of the baby boom), nearly every adult male I knew was a veteran. My Dad served in the Army, Mr. Blankenship, next door on the right, served in […]

What is Mental Health?

Mental health is essentially defined as a state of emotional well-being characterized by flexibility, adaptability, the ability to cope effectively with issues that arise, and sufficient social connection to provide support during difficult times. We believe it’s important to talk openly about mental health so that we will seek those attitudes, beliefs, and, behaviors which […]

Choose Based on Love

You are not perfect and never will be perfect.  You are not God for your children and can never be.  So, acknowledging and accepting that you are going to make mistakes will spare you heartache.  Asking your child for forgiveness is actually a very good behavior to role model.  Some parents believe that admitting wrong […]

Foundational Elements

As part of our legacy from over 40 years of marriage, we would like to share some foundational elements we discovered in the process of creating a successful marriage. We ask you to prayerfully consider each of these points and adopt any concepts or strategies that you find relevant to your relationship.  #1:  Marriage is […]